Surrender Read online

  Surrender

  The Lottery Winners Series

  By Elizabeth Lennox

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  Copyright 2018

  ISBN13: 9781944078874

  All rights reserved

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Any duplication of this material, either electronic or any other format, either currently in use or a future invention, is strictly prohibited, unless you have the direct consent of the author.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Epilogue

  Chapter 1

  “You be Daddy’s big girl, okay?” Humphry Miller asked, bending down to hug his daughter, Jane, tousling her blonde curls that were going every which way at the moment.

  Jane’s chin quivered as she wrapped her arms around her father’s neck. “Why do you have to go?” Jane asked, her voice trembling and her five year old mind trying to understand.

  Humphry rubbed his daughter’s back, trying to reassure her. “Because the coal mines closed a few months ago and I haven’t been able to find a new job, honey. I need to find job somewhere else.” He pulled away and looked down into his daughter’s huge, tear-filled eyes. “But as soon as I find that job, I’m going to come back to you and we’re going to buy a new house somewhere pretty, okay?”

  A tear escaped from Jane’s blue eyes. She didn’t understand why her daddy couldn’t find a job here, where they lived. He was big and strong and her daddy. “I have a quarter,” she whispered. “Is that enough to pay you so you don’t have to leave?”

  Humphry smiled gently, closing her fingers around the precious coin. “No. A quarter isn’t quite enough, honey. But don’t you worry! I’m going to find a great job and we’re going to be together real soon, okay?”

  Jane’s tiny arms tightened around her father’s neck and held on tight, trying to keep him there. Slowly, her father pulled back and Jane knew that she had to release her father. She didn’t want to, but it was going to happen. Putting her chubby hands on his cheeks, she looked at him carefully, trying to convey the urgency she felt through her words. “Come back, okay?” she whispered, feeling like she was never going to see her daddy again.

  He reached out and tweaked her nose. “I will, pumpkin. You can bet on it, okay?”

  Jane wasn’t convinced, but she also knew that she didn’t have much of a choice. “Okay,” she whispered back.

  Stepping out of his way, she watched with huge, watery blue eyes as her big daddy hugged her momma. They didn’t kiss, but her momma had tears in her eyes too. Momma ran the bakery in town and always smelled like vanilla and cinnamon. They whispered to each other for a few more minutes, then Jane watched as her daddy picked up his suitcase and tossed it into the back of his pickup truck. Moments later, he backed up out of the driveway and headed down the street towards the highway. She stood there, holding her mother’s hand, until he turned left and she couldn’t see his truck any longer. And still, Jane stood there, willing her daddy to come back.

  “Come on, honey. I need to get the scones into the oven,” her momma said. “I’ll make you some hot chocolate.”

  Jane didn’t want hot chocolate. She didn’t want scones and she didn’t want her momma to bake anything until her daddy came back. Why couldn’t her daddy work in her momma’s bakery? Why did he have to leave?

  She didn’t understand anything other than the aching pit in her chest.

  Six years later…

  Jane stepped through the back door of her mother’s bakery and saw her mother’s tears. Dropping her book bag, Jane rushed to her mother’s side, not sure what to think. Her mother used to cry a lot, but she hadn’t for a long time now. Jane didn’t understand. What could make her mother so sad?

  “Momma! What’s wrong? What’s happened?”

  Loretta stood up and wiped her tears away. “Nothing, honey,” she stuffed a piece of paper into the pocket of her apron. “How was school today? Do you want some hot chocolate?”

  Jane watched her mother slip the oven mitts onto her hands then reached into the oven to pull out several layers of cake, setting each one onto a wire rack to cool on the top and bottom. This was another wedding cake, Jane thought. Or a funeral cake. Either way, it usually meant someone else was moving out of LowPoint. A wedding meant someone was getting married and moving on to start a family where they could find a better job. A funeral meant…well, that the population of LowPoint was diminishing.

  Even at the tender age of eleven, Jane knew that people were struggling to find work. Some found jobs in Louisville, but others just…went away. California seemed to be the favorite place to find work, although Jane didn’t know what was so special about a place that was hot all year round. There was no snow! How could a person live in a place that didn’t have snow several times a year? Yeah, the snow didn’t look very nice after a few days. But on that first day…when the snow started fluttering down, the world felt…amazing. Different!

  Jane glanced up at her mother, banishing thoughts about the diminishing population of her home town. “Sure, I’ll have some hot chocolate,” she replied, thinking about how hard it had been to run in gym class today. She hated the way her thighs rubbed together. Not to mention, her jeans seemed to get tighter and tighter around her waist. With a sigh, she wished she could somehow lose a little bit of weight – enough so that she was more comfortable.

  What she really craved was some ice water. She was thirsty and hot chocolate never really quenched her thirst. But making hot chocolate always seemed to soothe her mother for some reason. So she slipped a clean apron over her head, tying it in the back and got to work making the biscuits for the seafood restaurant over in Louisville while Jane’s mother made a fresh pot of hot chocolate.

  An hour later, Jane loaded up the delivery van with the buns for the five restaurants that ordered rolls from her mother for their dinner crowds. Her mother waved through the open window as she pulled away from the back of the bakery, starting out on the thirty minute drive to Louisville.

  Jane knew that her mother wouldn’t be back until after six o’clock, depending on traffic, so she had plenty of time to find the letter that had caused her mother to cry. Hurrying inside, she rummaged through her mother’s apron, but the letter wasn’t there. The front bell jingled and Jane helped several customers, then headed into her mother’s office. There it was, stuffed under several invoices. Smoothing out the crumpled paper, Jane recognized her father’s handwriting. A warm glow washed over her as she looked at the date. Jane’s father never forgot her birthday, always sending her a card, usually with a few dollars inside. Well, he mostly remembered her birthday. He’d forgotten a few times. Okay, maybe half the time.

  But still, he was busy searching for a new job. She understood this. Jane saw how the population of LowPoint continued to diminish. After the coal mines had shut down, the businesses on Main Street and Church Street struggled to make ends meet. The grocery store and hardware store were doing okay, but most of the other smaller shops were not. As the stores lost business and closed up, more people were laid off. There were a few residents who had found work in Louisville and drove into the city every morning, but most of the people here were former coal mining families. As soon as they found something better, they moved out as well.

  Jane got it. She might not l
ike it, but she understood. Economics was a thing that she fully grasped since she helped her mother price the items sold in the bakery or delivered to the various restaurants. She was an expert at calculating the cost of ingredients, including the delivery costs, and had just started adding in the wear and tear on the delivery van as well as the mortgage on the bakery. Yeah, she knew how the world worked. People had to go where they could earn enough money to feed their families and put gas in their cars.

  So Jane settled into her mother’s office chair, ready to laugh at her father’s latest stories. He traveled so much lately, still trying to find work. Which was why he hadn’t come home in a while. She couldn’t wait to find out where he was traveling now.

  But as she read, Jane’s body tensed. This wasn’t a letter filled with funny stories. This was…

  Sitting up, Jane read the letter again, starting from the top. He was divorcing her mother? He’d…found someone else? Jane’s father, the man she’d idolized for his self-sacrifice and his adventurous spirit, was divorcing Jane’s mother because…because…

  Her mind couldn’t absorb the words. They didn’t make any sense! He had a new family and needed to focus on them? His “oldest” daughter had just turned four years old. Jane pulled her eyes away from the letter, trying to absorb everything she’d just read. If her father had a new family, that meant that she had half-sisters? How could that have happened?

  But what about her dad’s promise to come back? To come back and get her so they could all move into a pretty house and be together? Every letter, every card over the years mentioned that he was looking for a pretty house, one pretty enough for his “favorite little girl”!

  Obviously, Jane wasn’t his favorite any longer. In fact, Jane’s father didn’t even consider Jane to be his “oldest” daughter now. So…what did that make her? She had a four year old half-sister, but Jane wasn’t the oldest…?

  Jane blinked, trying to read through the tears that were now streaming down her cheeks.

  Jane didn’t understand. Her father…he wasn’t coming back?

  He had a new family?

  But…what about her?

  The front bell rang, indicating that a customer had just come into the shop. She wiped her tears away, positive that she must have missed something in the letter. This just didn’t make any sense. Her father loved them. He wouldn’t just…walk away. He couldn’t have a new family!

  Stepping out into the main area of the bakery, she prayed that her eyes didn’t reveal her trauma. She would talk to her mother, figure out what that letter really meant. It didn’t make sense and her mother always understood. She always made sense.

  A tall boy was standing at the counter, looking impatient.

  “Hi,” Jane greeted the cute boy who she’d seen around town. “Can I help you?”

  The boy turned and looked down at Jane, quickly hiding his surprise. Obviously, he recognized her as well. “Yeah. My mom sent me over here to pick up a cake. It’s a birthday cake for my dad.”

  Jane stared for a long moment, not sure she could move. Father. Birthdays. She hadn’t seen her father in…Now that she thought about it, Jane realized that she hadn’t seen her father in years!

  “Are you okay?” the cute boy asked.

  Jane jerked upright, trying to hide her shock. “Yes. I’m fine. Right. Birthday cake.” She turned around and stared at one of the white walls, trying to remember where her mother stored the specialty cakes she made and decorated. They weren’t in the wall, she told herself and turned around, heading towards the walk-in fridge. There it was. White box, label saying Marcus Whitwell. Quickly, she picked up the box and came back into the retail area of the bakery.

  “Is your father,” her voice cracked with the word, but she cleared her throat and continued walking towards the cash register with the box, “Marcus Whitwell?” she asked.

  “That’s him. I’m Caleb,” he said. He tilted his head, looking at her with a strange look in his eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?” she asked, forcing her lips to widen into a smile.

  The boy, Caleb, shrugged. He was taller than the boys in her grade, and looked to be much more confident. “You look…sad,” he replied awkwardly. “Like you’ve been crying.”

  Jane laughed, waving aside the issue dismissively. “Oh, I’ve been cutting onions,” she lied.

  Caleb seemed to accept her answer. Jane pushed the box forward. “This is already paid for. The phone order included a credit card, so you’re good to go.”

  The boy hesitated, but eventually pulled the box forward. “Thanks.” He turned away, heading towards the exit, but at the last moment, he turned back. “Hey, what do you call a shoe made out of a banana?”

  Jane blinked, not sure she’d heard him correctly. “A shoe?”

  He grinned, shrugging one shoulder slightly. “Yeah, a shoe made out of a banana.”

  Jane blinked and shook her head. “I’m not sure.”

  “A slipper.”

  He waited and she couldn’t stop the grin. It was such a stupid joke, something a kid would get a kick out of. But it was funny. He waited until she smiled in spite of herself and grinned back at her before pushing his way out of the store.

  Jane stood there for a long moment, thinking about the pathetically corny joke and the sweet boy who’d recognized that she was upset and had gotten her to smile. Nice, she thought.

  With a sigh, she turned back and started her chores, feeling…well, not better. But at least not horribly sad.

  As she washed the bowls and utensils, sheet pans, and various other cooking utensils her mother had used during the day, Jane thought about the letter. And the joke. And the letter.

  She wasn’t sure what to make of either, but in the end, she came to the conclusion that her father was gone. Jane knew there must be more to the issue than that, but in a nutshell, he was gone. And he wasn’t coming back.

  As much as that hurt, perhaps it would be easier to know that he was gone forever than to hope – and be disappointed – when he didn’t show up for her birthdays. Or Thanksgiving. Or Christmas. Or…ever.

  Later that night, she curled into a ball on her bed, burying her face in her pillow so her mother wouldn’t know that she was crying. She sobbed out all of her hopes of being a family again, her dreams of her father finding a good job somewhere and all of them moving into a house with a white picket fence where she could play with a dog. That wasn’t going to happen. Her father had a new family. Jane didn’t understand why he needed a new family, but obviously, she and her mother weren’t good enough.

  The following morning, Jane woke up and walked down the stairs with grim determination, not wanting to cry any longer for a man who didn’t want her, who had gone off and made a better daughter. Her mother turned around, took one look at Jane’s red, swollen eyes and burst into tears as well.

  “You found the letter, didn’t you?” Loretta sobbed, hugging Jane closely. “I’m so sorry, honey!”

  Jane closed her eyes and sighed, returning the hug. Her mother’s soft arms around her felt good. “Yeah. I’m fine, Mom. It’s not like he’d been around much lately.” Or at all, she corrected.

  “I know that he still loves you, Jane,” she said, cupping Jane’s cheek in her hand. “He just…well, he’s lost. Adults are supposed to know how to be responsible, but sometimes, we fail. We fail a lot. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, Jane. And I love you! I won’t ever leave you!”

  Jane hugged her mom. Her words helped. A little.

  Pulling back and sitting down at the chipped breakfast table, she looked up at her mother. “So what do we do with the letter?” Jane asked.

  Loretta turned to pour some cereal into a bowl for Jane. “I think we should frame it! This is the day of our freedom,” she announced.

  Jane looked down at the kitchen table, then back up again. She noticed that her mother’s eyes were as red and swollen as her own. “Freedom?” she asked, pouring m
ilk over her cereal.

  “Absolutely!” Loretta said with a smile. “I’ve been in limbo for so long, waiting for your dad to come back, tell us that he has a great job in a new town and a new house.” She sipped her coffee. “I’m going to file for divorce,” she paused, thinking through her words carefully. “That’s only a divorce between me and your father, Jane. He isn’t divorcing you.”

  Jane thought about that for a long moment, then she shook her head. “No Mom. He abandoned me as well. In the letter, he said he has a new family. His ‘oldest’ daughter is four years old now.”

  There was a sob from her mother before she could stop the sound. “He didn’t…”

  “Yes,” Jane interrupted softly, but firmly. “He’s moved on. So you’re right. We should move on as well.”

  Loretta gave Jane another hug. “We’re going to be okay, right?”

  Jane thought for a moment. “Yeah. We’re going to be okay.”

  Loretta filed for divorce with the letter as evidence of Humphry Miller’s abandonment. She won full custody of Jane, as well as the house. Humphry tried to come back and demand alimony payments, but the judge scoffed at that, shaking his head and ordered that Humphry Miller pay alimony himself, as well as child support payments. Retroactively.

  They never saw a dime.

  Every once in a while, a letter would arrive with his handwriting on it. By mutual agreement, Loretta and Jane slashed a line through their address and wrote, “Return to Sender” on the envelope.

  Three Years Later

  Jane hurried through the cold, running up to her best friend, Roberta who was impatiently dancing from one foot to the other as the wind howled through the night air. “Come on! You know I need to be in the front row!” Roberta called, tugging Jane through the crowd.

  Jane followed and tried to run her fingers through her blond curls, wishing she had straight hair like Roberta. It was so much easier to deal with than curls. Roberta was oblivious to Jane’s hair issues though, eager to get to the front of the auditorium.